he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize