Umm I'm too high to move.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
