seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize