I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Randomize
