now i know why i became what i already was.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
