Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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