the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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