hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
