He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
