At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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