So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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