i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
