we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
