Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
