Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Do vagina's smell?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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