Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Can I color on your dick again?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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