Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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