Where did you get a picture of my penis
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
