We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
