I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
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She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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