so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
