WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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