Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
