Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
