Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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