When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
