Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
