I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
