just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
