I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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