doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
there is puke in my bra ... again
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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