Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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