Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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