But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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