these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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