And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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