Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
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Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
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I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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