I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.