Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story