I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
