I molested 6 butterflies tonight
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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