I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
