Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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