therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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