Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
