real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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