Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
