the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize