Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize