I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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