Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
