went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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