I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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