don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
