I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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