my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
People in love make me want to vomit
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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