No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she smelled like a LAN party
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize