I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Let's get the cat blown out
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
