'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
