You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
