You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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